Resting in the Mother

The Great Mother is an energy that is so deeply needed on our planet at this time. She represents the energy of nurturance and embrace, as well as emptying out and facing the Unknown. She’s one of the foundations of the sacred feminine, and she is the first archetype we explore in our 13 Moon Lineage.

Great Mother’s mantra is “I surrender, I receive.” And as with most things in the Goddess, it’s much easier to say her mantra than to truly live it.

So what does it mean to truly surrender? How can we more deeply align with Divine Intelligence? And how can we feel a greater trust in the Universe when facing the Unknown?

I had a chance to face this Unknown, yet gain, as I went through yet another round of in vitro fertilization (in addition to more soul clearing sessions and ongoing acupuncture) in our long quest to bring in a beautiful child. We got very close with one tiny embryo that almost grew big enough, but it didn’t fully develop. So we had no choice but to surrender and let go. Again.

It’s been quite a journey to come to terms with the limitations of my own human body. I’ve had to release many layers of shame – feeling that being infertile has rendered me a defective woman. For someone like me who is very self-reliant, it’s been extremely humbling to realize that I may need to receive an egg donation from someone else in order to realize my own vision of becoming a Mother.

I know that I am not alone in wanting to bring my own Mother Impulse to fruition.  All women carry this Mother Impulse, as well as many men.  Whether or not we have biological children, we all seek to give birth in various ways. We all want to nurture and be nurtured.  And so many women are now choosing to put that Mother Impulse to good use in other ways, choosing to shower their energy and loving presence in their communities or into passion projects, which is a beautiful option for those who choose to move their energy in that way.

But what about women like me who yearn to have biological children but are not able?  Or so many other situations where the reality of our lives seems at odds with what we think we want? When is it appropriate to continue holding steadfast to our intention, utilizing the Law of Attraction, and when it is time to simply let go?

There’s so much to consider here.

In my own journey, this process of surrender has spawned a major unravelling in my being.  So many aspects of my ego and personality have been falling away.  So many things have not gone “my way.”  There’s been a great deal of disappointment and loss.

But I sense that this has all been necessary, that I am being re-organized by Spirit so that a new version of me can can be born (though this can be a longer process than our rational minds can understand!)

This new self feels much more humble. She’s quieter and has less desire for words. She’s somewhat tender and cries more easily. She goes to bed earlier. She realizes that she has limitations and is less likely to push.

She’s listening for that still small voice. She’s still emerging. But she’s here, sitting quietly, and resting more and more deeply in the Mother.



 The Mother Impulse

We all carry the Mother Impulse –
That vast burgundy flow
Liquid love pulsing through our veins
Inviting us to stroke a weary head
And caress a tear-stained cheek
Some offer this impulse
To those born wet from their womb
Patiently tending to a symphony of need
Holding tiny hands and wobbly feet
As they teeter into their first worldly steps
Others gift their mothering widely
Offering sweet arms of embrace
Staying up till dawn to deeply listen
Willing to feed yet another hungry mouth
Gathered close around her humble hearth
Looking out the rounded window
A silver sparrow’s nest is perched there
Mother’s birthing ground awaits
Eggs cracking open to a radiant dawn
With new life trumpeting Her sacred song
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